I'm BaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAccccckkkkkkk!!!!!

Holy cow!  What a whirlwind I've been in the past month!  I have soooooo much running.... RACING through my brain right now!  It is on OVERLOAD!!!! But I have so much I need to UNLOAD share ... I just don't EVEN know where to begin!  This may end up being a "SERIES" of posts..... because there is just SO MUCH!!!!  ..... Where to start...... Let's see.....hmmmm... 

First - CHRISTMAS!!!! OH MY GOSH!!! Can you believe it will be here in nearly 10 months!?!?!?! Honestly! Where does the time go???? Just look at that JOLLY LIL FELLA over to the right... he's just BEAMING with excitement as he reminds me that for me - CHRISTMAS will count in just 8 months and 2 weeks.... (I just felt a TWINGE of anxiety....... briefly....)   BUT! I'm so super excited!  I'm finally feeling like I just might be getting close to on track.... well, at least closer than I was last year.... but I also know that I HAVE to! Life has changed so much in the past month!  It is just beyond crazy - and enforces the "BE PREPARED" so much more....

I apologize for neglecting my "CHRISTMAS COUNT DOWN".... I stress over it!  But then I wonder if there is really anyone out there that really cares right now... or if it is just for myself... either way - it still stresses me out ... I've started something and I feel like I'm failing.... My goal is to get a LOT better!  They may be short and sweet to the point posts - but I've got to get better at it.... 

First... where have I been.... ???? Well, shall we say.... WHERE haven't I been???? HERE!!! (That was much easier to answer... LOL!)  This past month I have had to make some HUGE steps leaps bounds jumps DIVES! CHANGES! Yes, that's it - CHANGES! After working from home for the past 11 years, and working for the same company for the past 8  1/2 years... I had to take a leap of faith and change jobs.  It has been EXHAUSTING to say the least.... I started out looking DILIGENTLY for a new job just prior to Christmas.... Stared interviewing the week after Christmas and after 4 weeks of GROULING interviews with several companies... and feeling as if NOTHING was going to come of any of these interviews....(just a FYI - just because you go on 4, 5, 6 interviews with the same company... it apparently doesn't mean much... except that SOMEONE can't make a decision...SERIOUSLY!  and I learned that that was NOT the job I wanted.... when they finally offered me a job - it was NOT for the position that I had even applied for and interviewed 6 different times for... but they had a different job that they would like me to "INTERVIEW" for.... ARE. YOU. KIDDING!!!!  Go through 6 or more interviews AGAIN.... no thank you. I declined..... I then had 4 other job offers in 3 days!  It was a matter of laying it all out on the line... all the PROS and CONS for each job... It felt good to have the "CHOICE" and not "FEEL" that I HAD to accept the first offer....It was easy to omit 2 jobs... the pay wasn't the best, the location, kinda "scary", and one of them had cats that roamed the office... not that that is good or bad - (my first thought was MICE! ...uhhhh - terrified of mice!) ... but the con was - allergies... and after my 2nd interview I looked like "POP-n-FRESH" Dough-boy's sister.... not a look I felt I could adjust to very easily...  The two I needed to decide between were very close in PROs and CONs ...

.Job 1- GREAT pay, GREAT benefits, CLEAN environment, awesome people (those that I met anyway). Mon-Friday 8-5.... PERFECT!   

Job 2 - Great pay, GREAT AMAZING benefits, awesome people, great "life" experiences, gaining LOTS of knowlegde and KNOW-HOW, Training, and fun people....  

con's for job 2 - hours... they were all over the place.  12 hour shifts, you were required to work so many early am shifts, pm shifts, graveyard shifts, swing shifts, weekends, holiday etc... every month. VERY mentally and emotionally taxing. Down town (about 45 min drive)... 

 Job 1 cons: high rise building, office on top floor,  parking garage, DOWN TOWN, elevators, walking 2 blocks to building alone.... (scary!) ....

So now what!?!?! What to do!?!?!?! I decided that I needed to "REALLY" narrow it down - and it came to... HOURS... shifts.... the rest of it I just had to pull up my britches and be a big girl and just "GET OVER IT!" .... So I took job #1!  AND... it was the best decision ever!  

OK friends... Just a FYI... I have NOT conquered my "FEAR" of heights... I do NOT walk near the windows (or EVER look down!)  and thank HEAVENS my office is on the INSIDE of the building - not along the outside WINDOW edge!  I take 2 different elevators every day - for a minimum of 4 times a day - (If I go to lunch then it is 6 times! :)) I park in a parking garage - and have only had "ONE" encounter with something that felt the need to "SCARE" me and bang the roof of my car....(stupid pole!)  I walk down a busy (homeless filled at times) street ALONE to get to the office... and have only been asked 3 times so far for $10-$40 .... (HONESTLY! They are so brave now, they ask for dollar amounts!) Been followed ONCE by a man that wanted to know if my hair was "REAL" and mine.... for the love!  It is exhausting this hair of mine.....  and one even asked if she could wear my necklace for a day - (kinda broke my heart - but it was my favorite necklace... I KNOW! I should have just given it to her! ... I'm sure I'll see her again....) I have tripped over some stupid bump in the sidewalk 2 or 3 times with NEVER falling completely - but once got a up close and personal look at the crack in the cement... (that was a bit embarrassing) . AND I was applauded!  So I felt much better about that!  (Yes I am graceful!).... BUT needless to say it has been a HUGE adjustment on all of us!  It is a 2 hour drive every day - IF the traffic is somewhat good and I am exhausted by the time I get home.... I think it is the LONG drive home - puts me to sleep!  I don't feel that I'm being a very good mom, wife, friend, sister, daughter, neighbor.... anything like that.  I feel that my time with my family is so short - the time just goes MUCH too fast.... BUT for now... it is what I have to do. It is what WE have to do. I know that my husband would trade me positions in a HEART BEAT - so I try not to complain.  He didn't CHOOSE this lifestyle, someone else chose it for him and it is really hard at times to know that our future laid in the hands of someone else and the "choices" that they made that day.  BUT, it is what it is - and I'm so SO very grateful that we have been so blessed!  This job truly is a blessing!  We will soon have health insurance, which we have not had for years, I actually have HOLIDAYS off - which will be SO amazing, and the extra that I make now - will help us to get back on our feet... and I feel so TRULY blessed!  I'm so thankful.... 

And... I'm thankful for BLOGGY friends!  Thank you for your notes!  You are AMAZING as well!!!  I hope to get time this weekend to post a few projects and get some direction for this month that is more than HALF over .... but thank you for being so patient... kind... and BLESS YOU ALL!!!! this is to be THE BEST year! RIGHT!!!!! 

Love you all, my friends!  I'll be back... I'm exhausted right now - can barely keep my eyes open... hope my fingers know what they are doing..... .